"It's good that life sucks", it's really because it's part of life. I choose this as the first important lesson for you to understand. Maybe you're wrong to want your life to always be perfect. This self-deception occurs because we tend to create a distorted definition of perfection based on messed up values - explained later - instead of thinking, "Maybe it's okay for life to suck from time to time."
"The problem with people handing out cock like ice cream in a fucking summer camp is that they have nothing more worthy of fucking to dedicate their cock to" - Mark Manson
If you don't know what to worry about, you'll start worrying about a lot of unimportant bullshit, and that's when you'll start finding problems everywhere. So even if you don't want to, you have to choose what to fuck.
You need something that makes your life meaningful and involves looking for problems that you can learn to handle with pleasure.
As I wrote earlier, the book teaches us how inevitable suffering is, but even better is knowing that the very hell you cannot avoid will play a vital role in your growth. And the light is to accept that without this suffering growth is not possible.
This lesson is of fundamental importance, if not for people who constantly feel a certain right.
Over the course of your life, you may be led to believe that you are great in one way or another, feeling better than everyone else or feeling like a victim and everything is against you.
Truthful news: you are not exceptional; you are no different in any way. You have your own problems to solve, like everyone else.
Yes, 100%, you read that right! Ultimately, we are responsible for our choices and this determines how you choose your values and how you choose to react to certain situations.
It is about accepting responsibility for one's life. It is about assuming that you own your life, choosing to be responsible for it, ultimately choosing to be responsible for your problems as well.
This is a crucial step in troubleshooting. As soon as you understand this, you will stop avoiding your responsibilities and take action on your problems; because they are yours! Not only do they appear and disappear out of nowhere.
People generally don't like to be wrong, but if you look back you will find that most of the individual and collective certainties that have existed since have turned out to be wrong. For their time, groups of people might have believed they were achieving universal truth, but even then not everyone believed in this universal truth. And since we humans can remember, we evolved as different ideas were born and died.
The first thing here is that you will always be wrong in everything you do and believe in. Sure, you may be more or less wrong, but nothing will ever be quite true. You have to experience things to find them, knowing that the experience will also be somehow wrong.
Yup! The only certainty you can have in life (still to some extent uncertain) is that you are going to die. Being aware of this is the only way to destroy the law.
We tend to be afraid of what we don't know, and because we don't know much about death, we tend to be afraid of it. This is why people avoid thinking, speaking, and even accepting that it is there.
If you avoid death to some extent, know that it won't matter because one day you will die anyway. What you probably don't realize is that in fearing death, you fear life as well. And even if you are alive, you are not living your life to the fullest.
People often say that the key to confidence and success in life is simply to "give a fuck". In fact, we often refer to the strongest and most admirable people we know when it comes to lack of fucking. Like "Oh, look again at Susie who works weekends, she doesn't care." Or "Did you hear that Tom called the president of the company an asshole and got a raise anyway? Holy shit, this guy doesn't care." Or "Jason got up and finished his date with Cindy after 20 minutes. He said he wouldn't listen to her bullshit anymore. Dude, this guy doesn't care."
Chances are, you know someone in your life who at one point or another didn't care and went on to do amazing feats. Maybe there was a time in your life when you just didn't care and excelled at extraordinary levels. I know for myself, I quit my day job in finance after just six weeks and told my boss I was going to start selling some pretty high-ranking online dating advice in my temple of the "I don't care" fame. Same thing with the decision to sell most of my assets and move to South America. Broom given? No. I just went and I did.
Everyone just wants to be appreciated and accepted. Except Tim. Tim doesn't care.
Now, while not giving a shit might seem simple at first glance, this is a brand new bag of burritos under the hood. I don't even know what that phrase means, but I don't care. A bag of burritos looks great, so let's go.
The point is, most of us struggle our entire lives having too many fucking in situations where the fucking isn't worth giving. Who cares about the rude fireman who gave us too many pennies. We don't care when a show we liked is canceled on TV. We don't care when our colleagues don't bother to ask us questions about our super weekend. Who cares when it rains and we had to jog in the morning.
Broom given everywhere. Scattered like seeds in a fucking spring. And for what purpose? Why? Convenience? Easy comfort? A fucking pat on the back maybe?
That's the problem, my friend.
Because when we care, when we choose to care about everything, we perpetually feel empowered to feel comfortable and happy at all times, that's when life does.
In fact, being able to reserve our fuck only for the most fucked-up situations would certainly make life a lot easier. Failure would be less terrifying. Less painful rejection. Nasty necessities are nicer, and nasty shit sandwiches are a little more salty. I mean, if we could just give each other a few less dicks, or a few more consciously headed dicks, then life would seem fucking easy.
What we don't realize is that there is a beautiful art of not fucking. People aren't just born to give a fuck. In fact, we were born giving too much fuck. Have you ever seen a child scream out loud because their hat is the wrong shade of blue? Exactly. Fuck that boy.
Developing the ability to control and manage the fucking you do is the essence of strength and integrity. We have to create and refine our lack of bullshit over the years and decades. Like a good wine, our kisses must age to a good vintage, only outlets and given on the most damn occasions.
It may sound easy. But it's not. Most of us, more often than not, let ourselves be drawn into the small banalities of life, crushed by its trivial dramas; we live and die of the gap, distractions and vicissitudes sucking our cocks like Sasha Gray in the middle of a gangbang.
It's not the way to live, man. So stop fooling around. Gather your fucks. And here let me fucking show you!
This book is not about absolute nihilism - never caring about anything. Instead, the premise is to reduce what we hold dear and what we stress.
The premise of the book is to look at and work on the things that really matter in life. It sometimes means taking a peek inside to see what are the trivial things that interest us and what mistakes we've made that need to be changed. Personal responsibility for one's own life is paramount.
By the way, I got this book immediately after someone gifted me with "The Secret" which is about as opposite to this book as it gets. While “The Secret” encourages good thoughts to make good things happen (the “thoughts become things” principle), The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F * promotes personal growth and responsibility. I have recommended this book to most of my friends, and would recommend it to anyone who constantly feels overwhelmed.
I didn't buy this book. My wife did it. And I didn't really want to read it. She made me. I am a huge fan of self-help books. You can see some of my thoughts on others that I have read by visiting my profile. I usually take a snippet or two of wisdom from each. It is rare that one really transforms me. TSAoNGaF was one of those who gave me a couple of pieces of wisdom. And I am grateful for that! It was worth it!
I think this book is best for people who hate self-help books because Manson takes a clear stand against self-help books through misrepresentation. Sure, it could be that he just read some REALLY lousy self-help books. They are definitely out there. But I think he is trying to speak to an audience that is inexperienced and has a negative bias about most self-help books. This makes him seem arrogant at times. Who knows if he cares? LOL.
I haven't been fired for a week. This is just another "failure" in a remarkable number of great failures I've experienced in my 47 years of life. Reading this absolutely cemented what I learned slowly. Losing does NOT mean you failed. That means you tried, you DID, you lived. And I hope I have learned, grown and understood more about my values.
I'm learning not to hate myself. Seriously, it's a selfish and RIGHT feeling. Who am I to think I deserve to be or AM better than anyone else? We are all created equal. Equally stupid, equally ignorant, equally lost. I'm learning to accept this about myself. But how do you live with so many people (an entire society) who don't have a clue? How do I teach my child not to give a shit? Or maybe I just tell him about some of the things in this book and let him learn for himself... I can't control anyone else. Just me.
This book is written for a younger audience because if you are older you have already understood the message. It's easy reading and there are many good lessons to learn, but if you're in your 30's and don't know it yet, you're just sad. Don't worry about the first chapter; it gets better, but be prepared to get used to the word "METRICS" being used around 80 billion times.
The book seemed to sharpen the perspective, using your given ability to choose where to place your attention, your emotions, and so on, it gives you the ideal permission not to know, but to accept knowing things but to open up for it. know more. This tells you that it's okay to "just do it" with perspective, but to understand even if being understood is part of life, being responsible for how we feel and how we perceive others, and just accepting things.
Discussed how to get to the root of the problems in a way that we need to know why, to know how not to recreate what is not optimal. Some ideas of an acceptable time of pain were missing, but I feel like he said it's one thing to have a thought, it's another to build a house and live in those thoughts.